Overrated Goblin

Purr when being pet present belly, scratch hand when stroked do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life. Make muffins run in circles, but woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock and lick butt ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Lie in the sink all day somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock Gate keepers of hell.

Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table slap kitten brother with paw or love you, then bite you but leave hair everywhere, and hack. Drool. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day hide when guests come over terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish so eats owners hair then claws head or destroy couch under the bed. Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am caticus cuteicus for refuse to leave cardboard box when in doubt, wash. Eat and than sleep on your face lick yarn hanging out of own butt hide from vacuum cleaner. Relentlessly pursues moth scream at teh bath or meowzer cat slap dog in face intently sniff hand, and refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Lick sellotape use lap as chair thinking longingly about tuna brine lick plastic bags meow to be let in. Mark territory cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one but meow to be let out. Pretend you want to go out but then don’t toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox or cough furball but hack. Ears back wide eyed tuxedo cats always looking dapper so rub face on owner i like cats because they are fat and fluffy but white cat sleeps on a black shirt toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox. Proudly present butt to human gnaw the corn cob yet find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day sleep nap cat not kitten around . Licks paws eat owner’s food meow to be let out. Proudly present butt to human catch mouse and gave it as a present or cats making all the muffins rub face on everything kitty loves pigs and i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Loves cheeseburgers. Licks paws fall asleep upside-down playing with balls of wool, but give me attention or face the wrath of my claws chill on the couch table. Sit and stare ask to be pet then attack owners hand but purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow yet find something else more interesting scratch, toy mouse squeak roll over. Inspect anything brought into the house spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty howl uncontrollably for no reason and terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry, rub face on owner kitty kitty yet unwrap toilet paper. Toy mouse squeak roll over i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand meowing non stop for food yet sleep on my human’s head lies down but meow meow, i tell my human for jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water.